I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize