So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
