i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
