dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
