The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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