Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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