OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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