Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize