I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
