is your mom at the bar?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
This baby is an asshole
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize