As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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