Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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