dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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