direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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