And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
