It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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