Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I had to cum in my sink.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
