I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
