I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize