Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
