She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
