Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
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