wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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