Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
