I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Randomize
