My friends, they love my intelligence
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I licked your asshole in confidence.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize