Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
