I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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