If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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