I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
