She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
