Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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