Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
i've created a new STD.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
