so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
