She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
