just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
