my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize