capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
