He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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