He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
