I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
