She's JV to your varsity
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
