i think my mom watched the whole time
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
