Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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