he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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