It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
