i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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