walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
