Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
