New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize