His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
