i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize