why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
