I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
