margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
