i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
