These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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