Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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