No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize