make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
