This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
