i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Of course I have a pirate flag
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Shame - the story of my life.
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