So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
