think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Is it penis luge time yet?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
