I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
