Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
