Your dad touched me again.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
