so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
