You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
