it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
