it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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