Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
