dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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