I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
This is the prime rib incident all over again
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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