i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just pee around me
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
