he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
