your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
