New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
