people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
