He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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