My room smells like vodka and shame
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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