'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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