i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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