K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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