He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
