I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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