One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
