Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
whose parrot is this?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
