I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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